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    • #596

      confuciousconfusing
      Keymaster

      Does it really exist? Or is it just chemicals?

    • #20326

      love, i would like to belive that it is more than just chemicals……………….

      but sometimes i just don’t know.

    • #20327

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      we have only just a piece of love. The real love is still waiting to be unlocked with a mysterious key we can’t find yet…
      I don’t know…good question
      Love is giving up your seat to an SP show to someone you LOVE, to get a shitty seat

    • #20328

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      Love is giving up your seat to an SP show to someone you LOVE, to get a shitty seat[/quote:35mwiftq]

      but what about your love for Billy. :P :lol:

      i know silliness, sorry manilla. :wink:

    • #20329

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      I don’t understand the question,

      \"Does it really exist? Or is it just chemicals?\"

      It still exists if it’s just chemicals, I don’t see how that lessens it tbh, everything we feel and experience is a series of chemical reactions imo.

    • #20330

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      so we are one big chemical reaction…lol..at least we’re not nuclear-at least not that we know of….
      my Billy love will be there if I get a better seat. :)
      Loves has us do stupid things

    • #20331

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      You are right Cult, we are nothing but chemical reactions. I guess my question lies therein, does \"love\" actually exist outside of chemicals.

      Let’s say you see an attractive female (in my case). Well, you are programmed to have certain reactions in your body. A few of those are flushed skin, increased heartrate, butterflies, whatever.

      But after you get over the intial lust, and a relationship develops, what is truly keeping two people together? Intangible \"love\"? Or is it a subconcious comfort level. Or a fear to find another. A complacency. Or a mutual bouncing back and forth of responsiblity. Or trust.

      Maybe all these things are just lumped under one word: love.

    • #20332

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      Those things (possibly all together at the same time?) could explain that kind of love, but what of family members? Friends? Certain rock stars? ;)

    • #20333

      But after you get over the intial lust, and a relationship develops, what is truly keeping two people together? Intangible "love"? Or is it a subconcious comfort level. Or a fear to find another. A complacency. Or a mutual bouncing back and forth of responsiblity. Or trust.
      [/quote:17axqltp]

      i think after the inital lust, the "love" that grows is a respect and knowing of a person. that the other person can make you happy when you are the most down, that one smile from them can make you smile. a warm feeling in your tummy when you see them. even after the lust has worn off.

      Those things (possibly all together at the same time?) could explain that kind of love, but what of family members? Friends? Certain rock stars?
      [/quote:17axqltp]

      i think a love of family is the closeness and familerness. a rock star, now that is maybe a hero type of love? respecting that person for what they do, or what they bring to your life. i also think that girl boy love is also partly that, not the hero part but the what they bring to your life part.

      now love for children, i think that is a bond kind of love.

      i have to finish this later, the cat is trying to move the kittens.

    • #20334

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Well as for the lust part, we all have it in us all the time, we just know how to control it as we get older, but it does come out when we have our hot and heavy moments with our special somebody. You just have more to think about the older you get so the lust gets tucked under…

    • #20335

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Love always starts with some kind of lust; physical attraction is the key in the beginning, no matter what anyone says. It can’t evolve, however, without some kind of mentally intimate contact.

    • #20336

      but what about the love that grows from knowing someone and then the lust follows, has happened to me before.

    • #20337

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      I disagree lust doesn’t have to come first, or even early in a relationship at all IMO.
      In fact I believe sometimes it is one of the last things to appear in some relationships.
      In my own experience, I have casually dated people I wasn’t really physically attracted to, neither of us really wanting anything serious, but of course, you can’t plan these things, and I ended up head over heels, and I certainly lusted after them then! ;)

    • #20338

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      but what about the love that grows from knowing someone and then the lust follows, has happened to me before.[/quote:3eua1zau]

      We posted almost the same thoughts at the same time :P

    • #20339

      I disagree lust doesn’t have to come first, or even early in a relationship at all IMO.
      In fact I believe sometimes it is one of the last things to appear in some relationships.
      In my own experience, I have casually dated people I wasn’t really physically attracted to, neither of us really wanting anything serious, but of course, you can’t plan these things, and I ended up head over heels, and I certainly lusted after them then! ;)[/quote:1nye3d5p]

      yeah that’s what i was kinda saying, but we posted just a minute apart, so we were kinda saying the same thing. lol

    • #20340

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      that can only mean one thing:

      you two are in love!

    • #20341

      hahahaha :lol: :lol:

      *serious face*no.

      *unless cult hero is really christian bale* :wink:

      just great minds think alike silly.

    • #20342

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      :lol:

    • #20343

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      No, but I am Batman :P

    • #20344

      well, i dunno then, but i do like batman.

      ok enough derailment, get back to the discussion!

    • #20345

      Arthur
      Spectator

      Nietsche, here he is again, said a few things about love, I wished I had thought of it.

      \"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.\"

      \"Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not\"

      \"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.\"

      \"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.\"

      \"Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil.\"

      And the lesser mind of me thinks that love for another person in a relationship has to do with some selfishness & sharing, being compensated by the other for missing character elements in one selfs personality, intense sex after a fight instead of casual, clumsy sex doing a one nighty, and the ability to be silent with each other for hours too, without having that disturbed feeling. Feeling proud for the other person when he/she is passionately busy with a hobby. Look each other in the eye with understanding, and know that you both think about the upcoming delivery of the baby, or same kinda things. To me, love is not that everlasting feeling that permanently protects you like a warm coat in winter, but it’s the string of moments that make the balance go to the right side most of the times.

      And I couldn’t care less if it were just chemicals or something. It’s there, and it’s sweet to have those moments I described before. Then, I think, I can describe a bit what love is, for me. Trying at least. :roll:

    • #20346

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Now that I’ve read bullet’s and cult hero’s points of view I realize you’re right; didn’t think of that before.

    • #20347

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Bullet’s right about lust it can come later.. I am finding myself starting to lust over Billy pic’s in our special Billy forum.
      Thanks ladies-I didn’t know I had it in me for this guy…it will go away

    • #20348

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      Bullet’s right about lust it can come later.. I am finding myself starting to lust over Billy pic’s in our special Billy forum.
      Thanks ladies-I didn’t know I had it in me for this guy…it will go away[/quote:1mfip21e]

      :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • #20349

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Bullet’s right about lust it can come later.. I am finding myself starting to lust over Billy pic’s in our special Billy forum.
      Thanks ladies-I didn’t know I had it in me for this guy…it will go away[/quote:d7esaa09]

      :lol: :lol: :lol:[/quote:d7esaa09]
      why so many laughs? :lol:
      no confidence in my lustiness to go away? just post a bad picture and it will…lol
      Then I’ll be back to no lust

    • #20350

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Can someone be in love with two persons?

      I think that someone may believe they’re in love with two persons at a time, but then find out they only really and truly love one.

    • #20351

      i think you can love many people in your life, and maybe even two at the same time, but the question is who do you love more?

    • #20352

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      i think deep down, a person feels more strongly for one than the other. despite what they are \"supposed\" to love. whether or not they embrace it? different story.

    • #20353

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      i think you can love many people in your life, and maybe even two at the same time, but the question is who do you love more?[/quote:2iv1o6d0]
      And that is where differences come in
      loving my hubby (father of my children), hot, bad boy gone good…then you get….I don’t know never been there before…lol
      I

    • #20354

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Love’s the only mental illness worse than Depression. :wink:

    • #20355

      agreed. i think it is too.

    • #20356

      Love’s the only mental illness worse than Depression. :wink:[/quote:2pz2cyfl]

      I disagree, purely through experience.

    • #20357

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      I think my love caused my depression. :(

    • #20358

      i had depression, then love or loss there of made it worse.

    • #20359

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I read somewhere where you can control your own DNA by talking to it-connecting to it…
      so if you want to feel like you did when you were whatever let’s say 12-you can!
      So then it must be able to work for love somehow too? right?

    • #20360

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      how do you talk to DNA, let alone, your own?

    • #20361

      maybe you use a little megaphone.

    • #20362

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I have no idea how to talk to it..I just read it online somewhere and I am pissed cuz I didn’t book mark it..
      I want to tell my DNA to that i don’t smoke…lol..then maybe I won’t do it..lol..

    • #20363

      Shannen
      Spectator

      maybe you use a little megaphone.[/quote:34eds3ex]

      maybe send an email to your DNA? :P

    • #20364

      an email might work.

    • #20365

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      or a text message :wink:

    • #20366

      I think lust often precedes love. Something physically draws you to someone, and, given enough margaritas, you act on it. Whether you like it or not, you’ve started a relationship by acting. Where that relationship goes? Could come to a screeching halt after you realize just how many margaritas you had. Or, it can continue, and you realize you’re thankful those margaritas gave you the guts to act on your feelings. I’ve had lust turn into the most beautiful, strong, fulfilling love. I know love exists, I feel it almost every day.

      Lust doesn’t always turn to love, I think turning to love is more the exception than the rule. That said, what draws us to certain people and not others? This thread seems to be a bit slow, maybe everyone has put in their two cents. So I’ll pose a follow-up question:

      Do soul mates exist, and if so, what exactly makes a soul mate?

    • #20367

      wow that is a good question, i will have to ponder on that for a while.

    • #20368

      Good. I got into this discussion a while back with someone…….it’s tricky.

    • #20369

      it is a tough question, i thought i would post a little of what i found over at wikipedia about it in the meantime. (i was looking to find good definition)

      Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.

    • #20370

      Marcella
      Spectator

      So, you mean like someone out there who’s perfect for you, and complements you?

    • #20371

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      This is interesting…
      hmmm..Lust, love, soul mates,

      At one point I would have said my hubby is my soul mate-when I was in my twenties, now I can’t say that. It just doesn’t seem right. We are drawn together for loves purpose I guess. A little lust every now and then with him is there as well-when he keeps his hair cut..lol
      A soul mate would be one that connects to your deeper side and me and the hubby don’t really get in to that so much with each other. He’s not into that-just daily living for him-not much philosophical thinking in his world.
      So this is where the loving 2 people could come to play that Bullet said.
      You can be connected on a much deeper level than lust and love and being that deep with someone from your heart you could essentially love that person, and on the other you are connected through love or lust or both, but with out that deeper heart/soul connection-

    • #20372

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I guess a good question would be, Can you be truly happy being without that deeper soul connection not in your life?
      :?

    • #20373

      Marcella
      Spectator

      I know little about love, but I believe people that find that kind of connection are very very lucky.

    • #20374

      now i think that is also a good question, and off of the top of my head i want to say no.

      but is that it?

      i don’t think one can be truly happy without that connection, but is mostly happy good enough?

      i think for most people it is.

    • #20375

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I think we settle for the love we have and later find out that there is more to love than meets the eye…

    • #20376

      ain’t that the truth.

    • #20377

      Why do we settle? Why should we settle? Shouldn’t we search for our \"soul mate\" until we find him/her, then go for it?

    • #20378

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I don’t know why we settle-because it’s what we all tend to do..in hopes people change maybe? As time moves people just adapt to what they know and that it is what they are ‘comfortable’ in, rather than go out to the unknown per say.

    • #20379

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Humans are way too calm without leaving their comfort zone.

      But I guess true happiness is impossible in this world, isn’t it?

    • #20380

      no i don’t think true happines is unatainable.

      i think we settle because we are scared, scared that we won’t find that one. that one person who completes us. and not in the jerry maguire sappy way.

      the other half of our soul, so yes i think that there are soul mates.

      i do think that there is someone out there who is the other half of ourselves. i think alot of people are scared to try and find that person. i think people don’t find that person and settle for half loves. i think it is hard for people to find the other half of themself.

      but when you do find that person, i bet it is beautiful. i would hope so at least.

    • #20381

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Here comes something that might seem corny:

      I read this book about a new psychology technique using hypnotism. The patients were hypnotized in a special way until they could see what had happened in their \"past lives\". According to the book, the human soul reincarnates yet the past lives we have led remain on our subconscious.

      In the book, the two patients were a man and a woman- completely different nationality and social status, that had never known each other in their lives. Yet, they both continued showing in each other’s past memories as their lover.

      They describe meeting each other later as an \"electric\" experience. According to the Doctor, when meeting your soul mate and touching them in a physical way, \"every single atom of the body shakes without explanation\" because it gives you the feeling that you had met that person before.

      Just thought it was pretty.

    • #20382

      i totally belive that. not kidding or anything.

      i don’t think it is corny.

      i would love to do that, see my past lives. i want to see who is there. i want to know.

      but that is for another thread.

    • #20383

      Marcella
      Spectator

      I would tell you the name of the book or the author, but I read it when I was about…11, and I had to read little pieces hiding so my mom wouldn’t catch me reading such \"adult stuff\". Therefore, I don’t remember much except that line, and how both the characters were so depressed and hopeless until they met each other.

    • #20384

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      I think most people settle without realizing they are doing so. I did. Then my wife cheated on me, and I found the deepest love I’ve ever shared with another human ever. With someone else, not my wife, lol. Anyway, how would I know it could be so much better if I didn’t experience it for myself. I experienced deep friendship with my wife, and still do. However, we’ll never be fully in love again. We just don’t go that deep. Kinda like Reggae said, she is not philosophical, she does not nuture that side of my intellect. I’ve found that is truly a turn on for me. Now I know. But before, I didn’t.

      So I’m saying, I feel most people aren’t necessarily settling, they are satisfied. Why rock the boat if nothing is wrong, you know? Also, I think soul mates are so exceedingly rare that most people view them as fiction.

      I did.

    • #20385

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      For those that are satisfied, are they just thinking they are satisfied because they don’t want to get all philosophical in their lives? And when you say why rock the boat if everything is fine…Do they really know if everything is fine, have they dug deeper to find the real love of their relationship?
      I don’t get my philosophical side nurtured, but yet I just can’t say ba bye because that part of me is not nurtured. I can hope that something changes and he comes to offer more stimulus to the mind, but I highly doubt it. So then, will I truly be happy? I have no idea.

    • #20386

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      Why do we settle? Why should we settle? Shouldn’t we search for our "soul mate" until we find him/her, then go for it?[/quote:3kr9wv89]

      I think sometimes "life" gets in the way. Or your roots have grown to far down. You’re in the water table, you’ve seen plenty of storms, and can weather any more that may come your way.

      It’s just, you look over, and see that other forest. You know you belong there. But you can’t. Or won’t. Unless you uproot, hike up your bark, march over there, and replant yourself in the proper forest. How unlikely is that? Probably highly.

    • #20387

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Why do we settle? Why should we settle? Shouldn’t we search for our "soul mate" until we find him/her, then go for it?[/quote:1dy2mdn8]

      I think sometimes "life" gets in the way. Or your roots have grown to far down. You’re in the water table, you’ve seen plenty of storms, and can weather any more that may come your way.

      It’s just, you look over, and see that other forest. You know you belong there. But you can’t. Or won’t. Unless you uproot, hike up your bark, march over there, and replant yourself in the proper forest. How unlikely is that? Probably highly.[/quote:1dy2mdn8]

      You Manilla are so spot on. Although for me personally I don’t have any special "forest" I am looking at, but I know what I feel and I know it’s not all that I wanted, right now is not the right time for me to go forest hunting….
      BUT dammit I know if I found that forest I would be so much more happier
      maybe in my next lifetime-

    • #20388

      I don’t really have much to contribute, but rather a small recent anecdote.

      I think i’ve finally properly gotten over my ex (christ, its been over a year since she dumped me. It took long enough), but only by having my feelings be redirected to a girl who is three years older than me, lives nowhere near me, and is a lesbian. But whatever, she’s awesome.

      And I don’t have many feelings of despair because i’m not with her and all that jazz, but more feelings of ‘happiness’ (sort of) when I think of her. She’s just this really awesome girl. She’s also inspired me to try and change my fashion sense. Make it a bit more interesting.

      In conclusion: love is a fickle bitch.

    • #20389

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      that’s an interesting description :wink:

      hopefully you will find a non-lesbian who lives closer some day. :wink:

    • #20390

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      hopefully you will find a non-lesbian who lives closer some day. :wink:[/quote:1l4gxk5h]
      nice one blue:lol:
      fickle bitch huh…that’s pretty damn funny way of putting it

    • #20391

      Marcella
      Spectator

      I fell for a guy several years older than me, not helpful. But blah.

      I don’t feel like getting hurt again so I just don’t care anymore. I have plenty of life to live in and anything can happen, I guess. I’ve decided to go with the flow and see what happens. Not very intelligent but very very peaceful.

    • #20392

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      That’s how I am doing it now…going with the flow and the flow is kinda bumpy ….
      but I can handle the storm as I have been through a few

    • #20393

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      love is a pain in my ass.

      I am venting read if you want or disregard-It doesn’t matter

      How on earth can someone act like they understand you when you ‘down’ about things and then turn around and mock you 5 days later, & make fun of your way of thinking (philosophical side). That’s love? really? love is understanding-not mocking..so where is the love?
      Did I really choose this for my love of my life? Well I guess you get blind sided with lust first and then find out love is something else you share both physically and mentally-which is not there right now in my marriage. I guess what I am trying to say is I think I was young and dumb when I got married and now I just have to eat the shit up and deal with what I chose-
      Once you have kids involved everything becomes so much more difficult in the separation factor and jobless doesn’t help either, but that besides the point. How am I suppose to be me-my true self, when I am mocked? It’s like I am supposed to be what he wants me to be and not who I am. WTF?
      Also he has an obsession with cooking show and fantasizes about being a chef owning a restaurant blah blah…whatever never going to happen, but to basically try and tell me I should be a pastry chef or a cake maker or…why in the hell is someone trying to tell me what I want to do in my life? I have no desire to work with food ever!!! unless I am doing just the regular ol’ cooking for my family and friends-I hate cooking….
      It’s so frustrating to conversate and have him say he understand-when he doesn’t and then turn around and throw whatever I say philosophically in my face as if it is stupid….
      I love my children and I love him to some degree, but it’s just not there like it used to be. He said he will do anything to make me happy-well then stop acting like an ass when I discuss my deeper thoughts. Maybe he is intimated by my thoughts and he is too ignorant on that level to relate…regardless not need to make me seems like I am crazy because you can’t handle the deeper side of life. He told me I need Jesus..wtf? I am all about finding my higher self and getting the light into my life, but he is no help.
      I am not even comfortable sharing things with him anymore because of his lack of interest, which kinda mans his lack of interest in me…It’s not suppose to be a relationship that revolves around him and his desires-what about me and mine? oh yeah they don’t matter to him I guess..
      Does anyone believe in signs to help you in life? I do and I hope I get one soon enough, cuz I am at a loss right now in the married world

      sorry for the long vent-I could go on, but damn it’s long already

    • #20394

      Arthur
      Spectator

      Pffff… as if I have the perfect blueprint for love. Guess not. But I can share with you guys a few personal thoughts I have given it over the years. And spice it a little with some experiences.

      At the age of 14 I stepped into my first \"relationship\" with a girl 1 year younger as me. You might think I’m a bastard (which I am sometimes, I confess), but having her was a bet between me and a friend at that times, called Patrick. We bet who could steal her \"real\" kiss first… Anyway, I won and we stayed together for 9 months, then she lost interest in me. Still, my first love. Oh, I forgot to tell you I was madly in love with a girl in primary school, from when I was 7 years old till I was 12 years old. But she never saw me standing there, and she was only with the \"cool kids\" which I was not. :wink:

      I was with a few girls between age 15 and age 18, and they all broke up with me, I was too loyal to do that from my side. Then at age 19, after having had a troublesome relationship with a very depressed girl for about 8 months, I broke one up myself for the first time. Oh boy, what a relief that was! Somehow I became a little more mature I guess, because since then, never again a girl broke up with me, but instead, I broke up with them when time was right (at least for me).

      I’ve had 2 long term relationships (meaning: lasting over a year, both were almost 6 years) before and I think I was lucky enough afterwards not to have kids with them, so breaking up was a little more easy. It still takes lots of crying at night, folded around the pillow like a baby, though… Anyway, those experiences made me wonder: what’s it with me and the ladies? No problems getting them, make them laugh and fall in love with me, the hunt is so much fun! But then, I want to be loyal and true to this one and only, and I am till the end, but why do they loose interest in me? Why are they settling for less, while I want more, staying on life’s rollercoaster, travel, see things together, do things together, etc. etc.? I might be too adventurious for most, I don’t know. But also: I’m not able to give the other person that feeling of \"you are my better half, and I’m yours\". Because with me it doesn’t work like that. Since my parents divorced at my age 13, I’m independant, and I’m very happy being alone. Never had too many feelings of depression, I was most of the times able to work things out myself. I do need people for tons of reasons of course, and a girl for even more reasons, but I just didn’t know what a woman could really add to my personality. Maybe I’m arrogant, but I’m kinda happy with myself, my tastes for food, my enjoyments of music, and feeling at home at almost every place on earth, whether it be the in gutters of Bangladesh or in the castle of a sultan in India.

      Now, with my latest girlfriend which I know now for 3 years, I think I’m getting a little clue. I want to give her protection, make her feel comfortable so she can give me what I want now: children. My next phase at age 41. Raising kids. Makes me smile, thinking about it. So over the years I developed a little list of things that are important to me, in a relationship. First of all: openness and honesty, about EVERYTHING. I can’t do without 100% honesty! Soooo important! Wanna buy new clothes? Tell me, and here’s the money. Need a good conversation about something? Sit down, here I am. Wanna fuck another guy or girl? Tell me, I wanna know everything about you. Not saying I’m allowing it on the spot, but it’s discussable at least. Anyway, you get the picture. Second thingy: open for adventures in (almost) the same level as me, or in very different fields so I have something to look forward to also. Third thingy: be cuddly. Can’t live without it also. Fourth thingy: allow each other to have some freedom to do some own hobby, sports, friends etc. Do not try to change each other in that! It doesn’t work!

      Anyway, my 4 cents.

    • #20395

      Marcella
      Spectator

      You’re so awesome Arthur.

      Reggae, have you told your husband exactly how you feel? Does he know that you feel as though he doesn’t care for your feelings?

    • #20396

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      yes I have told him. In his world everything is fine. There isn’t much of an adventure there. I am the adventurous one and he’d rather sit in front of the boobtube. I told him I wanted to paint the walls in our home when we 1st moved in 9 years ago and he was not happy about that-the white walls are just fine..have a splash of color in you life honey..well I painted some rooms in the house-of course needs to be done eventually again-kids get walls dirty
      Anyway he just thinks that I am just on a tangent of some sort, but I need more out of life than to sit and watch tv and everything is SO predicatble with him, so I paint and indulge in my SP music and SP sites and my children of course..There is a lot more to it in my marriage than just that, but I really don’t want to put all of the issues out here…
      So in his book I am just having a breakdown that will go away and everything will be just to HIS liking.
      fun fun..so these feelings I have been having for quite sometime are just BS in his book…
      he’s so not mind stimulating for me…
      I need mental and physical stimuli and he doesn’t provide much of that

    • #20397

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Why do we settle? Why should we settle? Shouldn’t we search for our "soul mate" until we find him/her, then go for it?[/quote:2j9f3w3x]

      If I could I would :)

    • #20398

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      I fell for a guy several years older than me, not helpful. But blah.

      I don’t feel like getting hurt again so I just don’t care anymore. I have plenty of life to live in and anything can happen, I guess. I’ve decided to go with the flow and see what happens. Not very intelligent but very very peaceful.[/quote:2vwwiutn]

      This is about where I am too Marcella. I gave my all to my current/ex wife, and I was shit on for it. Made the fool. But I’m over it now, as it was a learning experience. I could let it change me, and make me a jealous person. But I don’t want to be that guy. Always calling. Always checking up on ya. Fuck that, I should be able to trust you. That’s what I did with my wife, and she abused it. I let her know she fucked up, and we’re working on getting separated, ultimately divorced.

      But we’re doing it kindly, which is special. As I said before, we were always friends first, so I suppose that will never die. She and I can still make each other laugh and that’s a big part of our relationship. But, anything deeper? Nah, no thanks.

      So right now, I’m not looking for love. At this moment, I don’t care. If I find it, great. If not, I did find it once and that’s good enough for me.

      It reminds me of a scene in City Slickers. Kirk Douglas played the old cowboy, teaching Billy Crystal’s character the ways of the West. B. Crystal asks him if he was ever in love. Kirk says something like yeah, and he fondly recalls his love experience and shares it with B. Crystal. He’s like, why not find it again? He says, I already had it. I’m at peace with that and lucky for it.

      Horrible synopsis, but that’s where I am now, mentally, regarding love. I don’t even want a good fuck anymore, would rather masturbate and be alone. lol.

    • #20399

      Marcella
      Spectator

      So glad I’m not alone, especially on the masturbating part. :lol: Just kidding.

    • #20400

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      haha…I plead the 5th…lol j/k
      well I ‘m married and whatever happens in life happens I guess…I’m alive and my children are happy so that’s a good thing :)
      but like I said if I could, I would not necessarily got out and look for it, but if it approaches me then who knows….my soul will know :)

    • #20401

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Exactly, you don’t look for love, love knocks at your door, or something cheesy like that. :D

    • #20402

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Exactly, you don’t look for love, love knocks at your door, or something cheesy like that. :D[/quote:1j4s7y7g]

      any minute now would be nice…lol
      j/k

      but yeah it knocks on your door and you just know-it shivers down your spine :)

    • #20403

      This thread is bringing tears to my eyes.

    • #20404

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      This thread is bringing tears to my eyes.[/quote:2atjm5kt]

      need a tissue :)

    • #20405

      Exactly, you don’t look for love, love knocks at your door, or something cheesy like that. :D[/quote:173jpi73]

      Watch out, it doesn’t knock on your door–it kicks the thing down and comes storming in when you least expect it. Guarantee you won’t be ready for it. Then you have to figure out what to do with it……

    • #20406

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Watch out, it doesn’t knock on your door–it kicks the thing down and comes storming in when you least expect it. Guarantee you won’t be ready for it. Then you have to figure out what to do with it……[/quote:wxuzovxi]

      hahaha that will be the day, it won’t be kicking my door down….
      and if it did, well then I guess I would have to love the love. I would be shocked if I got stuck in that type of situation….
      If it felt right( hitting my heart in the correct spot) a feeling of ‘home’ I would embrace it..

    • #20407

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      wait…I’m married..it definitely won’t happen :)
      I am not looking so it won’t happen unless my husband turns into that door kicking down love.. :lol:
      (my smart ass laugh along with that statement)

    • #20408

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Who knows, he might give you a surprise. Men are very very strange.

    • #20409

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Men are very very strange.[/quote:3bnxbzag]
      tell me about it :lol: …but they say the same about us too..

    • #20410

      Marcella
      Spectator

      The only difference is that when men think they got us under control….we rise again :lol:.

    • #20411

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      they have manbrain :)
      it’s got to be just weird having that alone…

    • #20412

      Soul Mates-What is one?– I found this in a book and it made me think. I like some parts of it….see what y’all think about it.

      \"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank god for it. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.\"

      I’ve met my soul mate, and many of these things did happen. He tore down my walls for sure, and broke my heart open a few times. Anyway….I’m curious what you all think about this \"definition\" of soul mate.

    • #20413

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      that is the most confusing thing ever.
      I could say my hubby is a soul mate based on that reflection of yourself through the other, to some degree, but then when I think more about it-maybe I am his soul mate and he isn’t waking up yet. I am so lost right now…lol
      My walls are being torn down, but are his-nope
      He’s not the one tearing my walls down either. I don’t know who is
      maybe it’s myself doing it.
      I am my own soul mate :)
      Is this why my marriage is going to the friendship level?
      I know no one can truly answer that, but I am sure I can find the answer somewhere within me.
      is there real love anywhere? or is it always going to be a mirror?

    • #20414

      interesting definition of a soul mate. it actually describes part of my past very well. according to this definition, i met my soul mate back in high school. i hardly ever talk about it because it was a very painful relationship. but when i look back on it now, i realize that it helped to shape who i am today. i think it made me a stronger person.

      according to the definition, my hubby would not be my soul mate. part of the definition fits, the mirror part, i see in him things that i would like to be, but he doesn’t make me feel desperate or out of control at all.

      in my opinion, this definition is only partly right, and a bit exagerated. i believe soul mates are better off because they have found each other. in my opinion, they help you learn things about yourself, but without the painful drama and they stick around for a while :).

    • #20415

      Marcella
      Spectator

      But isn’t a soulmate supposed to be the person you fit the best most? The person who is meant to be with you?

      I believe also that opposites attract and I’m sure you can all agree. We look for the people who have qualities we wish we had, or maybe even qualities we dislike but that are there and somehow, we can deal with it.

    • #20416

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      does any one ‘really know’ what a soul mate is? It’s all speculation technically, until proven otherwise…and technically we don’t know beyond what people opinions/experiences are.
      The unknown is so intriguing, but frustrating

    • #20417

      i guess it has different meanings to each individual person. i’m sure there are a lot of people who don’t believe in the term soul mate.

    • #20418

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I believe in soul mates to an extent, but then going through different things makes me think otherwise sometimes.

    • #20419

      Let’s say you’ve met your soul mate (assuming they do, in fact, exist). Is it possible to go on in life without them?

    • #20420

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      My 1st initial reaction was WTF?..
      now, after a little more thought, I would say yes you can live with out them. I’ve been living for almost 33 years and I would say most of that time I didn’t have a soul mate, therefore it is possible to go on with out one
      unless the people you are close to (family & friends) are considered soul mates in a off the wall way….and the people you come into contact with through out the years…
      people come in and out of our lives for reasons that you may not understand at that moment

    • #20421

      Marcella
      Spectator

      Yeah I agree with Reggae. I think everything happens for a reason, so if your soul mate happens to leave you I believe you should go on since that’s the way things had to be.

    • #20422

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      The more things I see in my daily life and how I am not satisfied with certain things and a certain someone, absolutely! This is where it gets me confused. If we were to say my husband is my soul mate, than why I am dissatisfied with his behavior/habits..to the point of I don’t want it/him in my life anymore. Or maybe I am just talking myself into those feelings, but there are definitely some things that need to be taken care of on his behalf that he won’t do, and I have pointed these things out and with good reason, but to not listen and continue is just really fucking annoying. I would spill the beans on details, but then everyone would probably be like WTF? Why are you still with him? love?? I don’t want to have a broken family with a potential for a part time daddy, which he is anyway even living in the house. I had a shitty upbringing with my parents divorcing when I was in 3rd grade and my father was never around-too caught up with friends, sex, & drugs, and my mother was just a friend instead of a parent.
      So my oldest son has stated he doesn’t like him at all. I’m gonna say he has his reasons for that. My hubby always seems pissed off at him and seems to want him out of the house asap…and he (son) says he doesn’t think dad likes him. And I would have to agree with that statement from what I see and hear.
      Let’s clear this up though..he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t cheat on me, so that’s all fine and dandy, but he doesn’t spend quality time with his children, glued to the tv, (told me he’s not influenced by television-yeah right) has 3 boys and doesn’t attempt to take them outside to play catch or anything for that matter or teach them anything, but how to watch tv, drink beer,sleep, and fuck it smoke weed.
      That’s what his life revolves around is work,tv,sex,beer,sports,sleeping,friends and weed…put it this way I have talked to him numerous times about our finances and how buying the shit continues to take away from important things like fix things up in the home, car maintenance, children expenses, entertainment $, and just living period. Now I don’t make the $$ so i really don’t have much of a say on it, but to indulge on his selfish wants and everyone else here has to pay the price, that’s bullshit. If he cared he would stop so we can move forward in our life. To watch someone just waste away like that is so heart breaking. It’s not particularly good for the kids, but like I said I don’t want a broken home, My son was trying to smoke weed at 11 years old..I guess my husband is a shitty role model here for my boys..
      and my 8 year old is aware of his habit according to my oldest. He always kicks the children out of the family room so he can smoke-which is about every 2 hours when he is off work…
      I have tried asking him to do it outside or stop or take his ass upstairs, but he never listens, but after 9 years of being married to this and nothing changing, I guess I need to buy a vowel :)
      and there is a ton more, but ugh I have had about enough of this today….
      so if he is my soul mate-what good is he to me except for me realizing that I don’t want this shit in my life, not much I can do when I refuse to pay child care prices these days for crap ass service. And why work to pay someone to watch my child when I can do it myself….so I am stuck in this until my youngest gets in school. 3 more years seems so long, but yet I have done it for this long already
      and if I am his soul mate why hasn’t anything chimed in yet for him?
      the journey continues

    • #20423

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      What makes you believe he is your soul mate? Soul mates are not defined by marriage, rather, how that other person seems to \"fit\" in every aspect of your life.

    • #20424

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      manilla…I didn’t say he was my soul mate I had the IF in there…lol
      and you are right though about it not being defined by marriage.
      Well regardless, I spoke my peace with him and it’s like talking to a tree stump. He was on an attack of I am blaming him for everything, when I wasn’t. I just said accept responsibility in your life make the right choices that you feel fit for you. You can only change yourself if you want-so we will see if anything I said sinks in…I hate to say it, but it always goes in one ear and out the other, so that is what I expect yet again.
      I just don’t normally speak about my personal life, but it’s just so ridiculous right now that I want to and I am comfortable enough on this site (even though tons of people read this) to post it. Maybe it can help someone else in their life :)
      so on that note…never had a soul mate and wouldn’t even know what one is…..
      so I can live without one

    • #20425

      Reggae–sorry things are so undesirable at home. Not sure what to say….. But I do agree with Manilla. Marriage does not equal soul mate. There must have been something there once,….the reason(s) you married him in the first place, right? Is that totally gone?

      A broken home (ie mom and dad split) can sometimes be better for everyone involved, including children, than sticking together just for the sake of sticking together. Make sense?

    • #20426

      Marcella
      Spectator

      ^ It does make sense.

      My dad has always been an alcoholic who is rarely around. And when he’s around, he’s only fighting with my mother and, if I’m around, attacking me as well.

      My mother doesn’t even sleep in the same room as he does. It’s hurtful to see such things everyday and to arrive home and only hear screaming. I think it would have been better for my siblings and me if they would have separated. My mother suffers so much and yet she never did absolutely anything…it’s outraging…

    • #20427

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      when I met him…It might have been a lust factor plus I was 21 then and he WAS great with children at the time, but not so much now. He’s better with other people’s children then ours.So with everything that has gone on throughout the years I think I was not being the ‘real’ me and being what he wanted me to be, so here I am being me now! And I gave him some food for thought today, let’s hope he ‘gets’ it. If not then I will figure that out eventually. I have lost a lot of emotion when it comes to anything in our marriage and that’s kind of a bad sign. It’s like I really don’t care if he is home anymore. I like it when he is gone at work or out with his friends. I get excited when he has to work late, then if he cames home earlier than expected I don’t feel happy to see him…..
      I agree staying with someone for the sake of just staying put to not disrupt things could lead to more potential issues with my children as they get older. Don’t be sorry, I chose this, and now I am just thankful I have started to figure this out now!
      I am optimistic that things will improve, but if not, then I got to start making some plans.
      that’s part of my problem I am sometimes too optimistic.
      But I always want the best for all and this might not be the best, but it could be worse and he could possibly change for the better..but this isn’t the first time we have had these issues..it’s just hot air blown in his ear, he talks the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk….
      love is a fickle bitch as stated earlier in this thread :)

    • #20428

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      Love is like money, it can make you do, think and say things that might not be wise. Maybe not in that order.

      Humans are build to need lurve, give it and yearn it, it’s Nature’s way to further her species.

      I’ve always wondered, if you could choose one of the three stages and freeze the other two: Go for the joy of chasing someone you want or admiring, being with that person, or the memories of those best times when it’s over.

      For myself, I’d rather stay single and want, live with the pain of yearning. Not always easy to do, yet the least painful (and most frustrating?) aspect of The Love Game.

    • #20429

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      I’d freeze the first time the two lock eyes, and give into kissing.

    • #20430

      blueczarina
      Spectator

      i feel bad for you guys when i read this thread. i just hope things work out for the better wherever life takes you.

    • #20431

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      expressing this stuff helps us become stronger in our journey of life.

      Dazey-that is a great line
      \"Love is like money, it can make you do, think and say things that might not be wise\"

      now that I have been married for 9 years, I definitely know if I ever become single…I will stay that way!!
      I love myself enough to not go through this shit again :)
      I’ll just love for the sake of love, not for a relationship…..

    • #20432

      Im a Cult Hero
      Spectator

      I’ve always wondered, if you could choose one of the three stages and freeze the other two: Go for the joy of chasing someone you want or admiring, being with that person, or the memories of those best times when it’s over.
      [/quote:2zt32843]

      I think I’d take the "being with that person", but just the "honeymoon period", I’m currently in that spot with my gf, we’re only together 7 months, it’s great, but I know it’s not going to last, eventually the first fight is going to come, I’m not sure this relationship will survive it :/

    • #20433

      toad32r
      Spectator

      If you think about it, just reading all this, and feeling emotion for each other here on this page, is creating a kind of emotion…love? Isn’t the act of feeling bad for someone elses difficulties an expression of caring? I feel that love can be felt at so many levels, even by ppl that have never met… Love ya all! :)

    • #20434

      Toad….so sweet.

      Not sure I’d say I \"love\" Reggae, but I can understand how she’s feeling. Some of us may empathize, some my sympathize.

      I do, however, agree that there are many levels of love.

    • #20435

      Marcella
      Spectator

      In Spanish there is a variety of words to express the levels of love. Romantic way, friendship way, etc. Sadly the English vocabulary lacks some of these.

      I just know I trust you all and know I can come in to you with my problems and you won’t judge me.

    • #20436

      In Spanish there is a variety of words to express the levels of love. Romantic way, friendship way, etc. Sadly the English vocabulary lacks some of these.[/quote:11ilbgbz]

      Mmm, yeah. I know for a fact Latin had different words for different loves (we were taught this in an RS lesson – to show the original meanings behind what Jesus said about love, and the differences between loving God/your neighbour, and so forth.) so it makes sense that a Latin derived language similarly has different words.

    • #20437

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I just know I trust you all and know I can come in to you with my problems and you won’t judge me.[/quote:1iqqmifk]

      That’s how I feel too!!

      I have love for everyone on the board, but I’m not ‘in love’ with any of ya’ll-sorry
      Thanks for understanding how I feel RTC and others.
      everyone has giving me some positive feedback and I am grateful, now I just need to figure this all out one day

    • #20438

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      I was reading today on a website it’s about soul mates…kind of interesting
      I know it’s long, but worth the read if you have time :)

      Soul Mates & Soul Families
      by John L. Payne

      There is much conjecture and misunderstanding concerning this subject.
      When most of you speak of a soul mate, you are thinking of that one
      special individual that you will fall in love with and with whom you
      will live happily ever after. You may even feel as if this one special
      love has always been your lover through many, many lifetimes and that
      you are simply awaiting his or her appearance in this lifetime.

      Many souls do encounter one another in lifetime after lifetime after
      lifetime, for they have become friends. This friendship is based in
      the non-physical world, and the friendship, which in essence is
      co-operation, is based upon their past success in achieving the growth
      they are seeking. You see, you are growth-seeking beings, and all
      encounters, both physical and non-physical, provide opportunities for
      growth. Therefore, if there is a certain soul with whom you have had
      great success in achieving your goals, you are likely to agree to work
      with that one again.

      It is important to understand how souls are organized. Your journeys
      here into the physical world are deliberate journeys. You have already
      mastered life on many other planes of existence, and your purpose for
      coming to Earth is simply so that you may broaden your experience of
      yourself through the Earth existence. The ultimate goal is to
      experience unconditional love, that which is acceptance and allowing.
      For as you totally accept Earth life and accept all the aspects of it
      and all that exists within it, you have reached your goal. Some have
      called this enlightenment. You see, you didn’t come here to get better
      or to prove yourself worthy; you came here for the fun of it, for the
      game, for the challenge.

      Before such journeys are undertaken, souls organize themselves into
      groups. You could see these as support groups. Souls organize
      themselves into Families, Groups, Clans, Nations, and Grand Nations.
      There are seven souls in a Soul Family and seven families in a Soul
      Group, and seven groups in a Soul Clan, and so on. Eventually, you
      will work with most members of your Soul Clan, that is 343 individual
      souls. However, for those of you who are teachers, you will more than
      likely reach your Soul Nation or Grand Nation, which totals almost
      17,000 souls.

      The majority of your relationships, close friendships, and
      associations will be with souls who are from your Group of 49 souls.
      However, this is not always the case. The more you advance in terms of
      acceptance (love), the more skilled you will become at working with
      individuals who have a different energy signature than yourselves.
      What we mean by energy signature is the following: each Soul Group
      will be working towards a particular goal.

      For example, many members of one Soul Group could be concerned with
      communication and teaching, another with healing, another with
      courage, another with self-acceptance. This does not mean that each of
      you will manifest in the same way and lead identical lives, but it
      does mean that the essence of your lives will be very similar. You
      will have similar ideals, aspirations, likes, and dislikes. The people
      you are most drawn to are almost always members of your Soul Family,
      Group, Clan or Nation, but as with everything, there are exceptions to
      the rule.

      A Soul Family will work together for many, many lifetimes. Sometimes a
      Soul Family will regroup and different alliances will be made. This is
      rare, but it happens. In addition, the entire Soul Family will be
      involved in decision making regarding future lifetimes and will assist
      you in assessing your achievements in a lifetime just past. Your Soul
      Family is always there for you. For the most part, not all members of
      a Soul Family are incarnate at the same time. Those members who are
      not incarnate act as spirit guides during the physical life of the one
      who is incarnate. They can visit you in dreams, inspire you with
      thoughts, or in some cases, speak to you directly during meditation.
      Many of the spirit guides that have presented themselves to humans are
      indeed discarnate souls who are members of the individual’s Soul
      Family. However, many of the Master Teachers that present themselves
      to humans are either members of the individual’s Nation or Grand
      Nation and are souls whose Earth experience is complete. At times
      these Master Teachers can be souls that are even broader and vaster
      than this.

      A soul mate is any soul that is a member of this broader group and
      anyone that touches your life. The net effect of a soul mate on your
      life will always be positive, even if you cannot see it at the time.
      For example, many have the notion that a soul mate relationship will
      be the ideal relationship, full of harmony and love. However, a
      relationship with a soul mate is likely to be challenging!

      The whole point of a soul mate turning up in your life is to show you
      to yourself. That is the purpose of all human relationships. You learn
      through viewing in the mirror. The Law of Attraction works in every
      aspect of your life, and therefore each person drawn into your life is
      there through vibration, and nothing else. They are present because
      your vibration and their vibration are matched in some way.

      As we have said before, you are growth-seeking beings. So many of you
      get confused when you meet the person of your dreams, fall happily in
      love, declare, \"This is my soul mate,\" and then have to pick up the
      pieces a few years down the road when the relationship breaks up or
      the person you loved turns out to have some problems or personality
      traits you do not care for. However, this was your soul mate, and you
      have many!

      As you re-enter each lifetime, you make agreements with many different
      souls, perhaps as many as 20. You agree on what you will offer one
      another. These souls can be your children, your best friend, husband,
      wife, worst enemy, boss, business partner, any number of
      possibilities, and even the schoolteacher that encouraged you with
      patience and kindness. However, as you, the personality, have free
      will, you may create a path that takes you in a different direction,
      and this is why you have to make possible agreements with so many. The
      Universe works on the principle of vibration.

      Let us give you an example: There is Joe who is a fine soul indeed.
      However Joe, for quite a few lifetimes now, has been struggling with
      powerlessness in the physical realm. His struggle has led him into
      violence and even to developing addictions to alcohol. Mary, on the
      other hand, for some time now has had difficulties in valuing herself,
      always choosing second best, and always giving her power away. So Joe
      and Mary coordinate their lives and set up a strong probability to
      meet. Their intention is that Mary and Joe will fall in love and work
      towards resolving their respective issues. In her relationship with
      the alcoholic, Mary will learn that she must begin to make choices
      that reflect her self-worth. Joe, on the other hand, wants to learn
      that he cannot possess or control anyone, for power must come from
      within. However, Mary finds herself often challenged during the course
      of her life, and at college the establishment challenges her ideas and
      values. Instead of capitulating, as was her custom in previous lives,
      she stands up for herself and chooses to value herself. At that moment
      her vibration changes and therefore Joe is no longer necessary.

      It could happen that she may meet Joe, but it would more than likely
      be a passing meeting and one in which she could share with him what
      she had learned. She may indeed end up being the counselor at an
      alcohol rehabilitation center, for example, but Mary no longer
      requires an intimate relationship with Joe. At this stage both Joe and
      Mary set up new vibrations so that they connect with their other
      possible soul mates.

      When you look back at your life, you will see there are many people
      who have had an impact on it. All of these people are your soul mates,
      and whether they know it or not on the personality level, they love
      you dearly for you are all working together towards one singular goal,
      and that is the goal of love.

      \"When we meet someone and an instant friendship or attraction occurs,
      does that mean that this is a soul mate and that we have been together
      in past lives?\"

      What it means is that there is compatibility in vibration, and this
      generally means that there is a connection of sorts. Whether that soul
      be from your Soul Family, Group, Clan, or Nation, there is a
      connection, a similarity of goal, purpose, experience, and therefore
      vibration. However, this connection on the soul level does not
      automatically indicate that you have met before. You may never have
      met on the Earth plane, but the soul may be known to you in the
      non-physical world. You do spend rather more time in the non-physical
      than you do in the physical, for the non-physical world is your
      natural home. In the non-physical world you have friends in very much
      the same way that you have friends on Earth. Some friends are close to
      you, others are intimately acquainted with you, and still others are
      acquaintances. Friendship in the non-physical world has nothing to do
      with liking or not liking one another; it has to do with compatibility
      of goals and aspirations. Your non-physical friends also change, and
      they change according to your goals.

      For example, you may have teamed up with a particular small group of
      souls to work on survival issues. Each of you have had a few lives
      together in inhospitable environments. You may have chosen to live in
      primitive cultures in very cold climates or in desert regions. Such
      inhospitable environments help you to become resourceful, inventive,
      creative, and self-sufficient. You may however, choose to return to
      this adventure at a later stage and not complete all of your
      ‘learning’ in one go. Or, you may progress at a faster pace than your
      group members and decide to move on. Another choice could be to remain
      with the group and become a leader or teacher amongst them, assisting
      them to progress, which in turn assists you to progress even further
      for there is much learning to be done whilst teaching. The
      possibilities are endless and the choice is yours. If you decide to
      move on, you will join another group, or perhaps work with one or two
      other souls. Your work with other souls may last one Earth day, an
      entire lifetime, or several hundred lifetimes. You choose all of these
      relationships, and each relationship is based on cooperation and the
      desire to progress as quickly as possible.

      \"Are our parents and children Soul Mates and are they part of our Soul
      Family?\"

      They are soul mates inasmuch as you not only know them, but you have
      chosen to work with them for the specific purpose of achieving growth.
      No birth is an accident, for all souls enter this world by agreement
      with both parents, even if both parents are not present in childhood.

      Your parents and siblings may very well all be members of your Soul
      Family, but this is extremely rare. Normally, one, perhaps two,
      members of your biological family will be from your Soul Family, but
      the rest will generally be from your Group, Clan, Nation, or Grand Nation.

      For the creation of a physical family the younger, less experienced
      souls will tend to team up with souls that are very closely related to
      them. These souls will often swap roles with one another from lifetime
      to lifetime, sometimes being the child, at other times the parent, at
      one time the female, at another time the male mate. The familiarity of
      the souls, one with another, helps each individual soul to progress
      more quickly. When souls first enter the physical plane, it seems to
      them to be a hostile place indeed. They are confused and wary of the
      physical body and are very susceptible to the biological impulse to
      survive. They are often caught up in fight or flight choices. The
      Universe is loving and supportive, and therefore it creates feelings
      of security to be surrounded by souls with whom you are very familiar.
      However, as with everything in the Universe, this is only general. It
      is not a hard and fast rule, for older souls can and do enter into
      these kinds of arrangements.

      Many older souls choose to be born into families where perhaps only
      one member is well known to them, and perhaps this soul is from their
      Soul Group or Clan, not as closely related as a Soul Family member.
      They will make this choice because older souls are really concerned
      with introspection more than anything else. They may be preparing to
      teach or to become a leader in one field or another, and the
      experience of feeling ‘the odd one out’ will lead them towards
      self-examination. Instead of getting caught up with the function and
      duty of ‘family’ these souls will often be seen to be the ‘black
      sheep’ or viewed as different or eccentric by other members of the
      biological family.

      Although these circumstances may lead to difficult personal
      challenges, the lessons are almost always internal rather than
      external. This means that there will be an emphasis on
      self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is an integral part of soul
      development. If we were to liken the Earth experience to education,
      mastering self-acceptance is equivalent to studying for your
      doctorate. Once you have self-acceptance under your belt, you are
      pretty much on the home run!

      \"Why do so many of us search endlessly for the ‘one true love’ in the
      hope of finding our soul mate?\"

      What you are looking for is acceptance. You believe that this ‘one
      true love’ will accept you without conditions. Your search for that
      one is in fact the search for self-acceptance. Each relationship is
      there to provide you with a new opportunity to know yourself. It is
      through knowing yourself that you can then grow to accept yourself and
      to love yourself. The one true love is self-love; there is no other love.

      The greatest secret of all, discovered by the Christ and the Buddha
      and many others, was the secret of falling in love with the self. When
      you love the self, you are in a state of acceptance, total acceptance.
      As you accept, you cease resisting the world and all that is in it. As
      you give up resistance, you allow everything to be as it is. As you
      allow everything to be as it is, God can work through you. It is at
      this point that you can say, \"I and the Father are one,\" for you will
      be at one with the source of all life. You will be at one with love!

      Omni Reveals The Four Principles of Creation by John L. Payne. This
      article was excerpted from the book:

      Omni Reveals The Four Principles of Creation
      by John L. Payne.

    • #20439

      Marcella
      Spectator

      That was an incredibly interesting read. I like the last part about loving oneself. In the end, it is all reduced to that. Someday I wan to reach that; the full acceptance of my being and everything else.

    • #20440

      Doubtful-Della
      Spectator

      I don’t have the time or patience to carefully read everything posted here, but getting the general gist of it… Reggae… I’m really sorry for the crap that you have to put up with daily, especially when it comes to the $$ and bad example for your boys.

      Soul mates…. I do not believe in soul mates. People are imperfect, and are ever changing. Just because somebody seems like they are your soul mate at a point in time (connecting on so many levels etc) doesn’t guarantee that you will always feel that way towards that person, or that you can’t feel that way again towards somebody else. The best thing that you can hope for is somebody who is willing to work at love WITH you. People don’t stay together for 50 years because they are just the perfect match. They stay together because they are both willing to work for it. They are both willing to give and take and change for each other, or for the greater good. That is the ultimate love, that you would give up something for somebody else.

      My husband and I have been married for 5 years now and we’ve gone through some pretty rough times financially (right now even), emotionally, bad situations with family, bad situations with friends…. and sometimes I don’t know if it’s \"love\" or stubbornness that keeps us together. I think we are both so dang committed to making this work no matter what… even if the things he does drives me insane sometimes… not getting into details either here… but every marriage/committed relationship will surely understand the aggravation of living with another person… no matter how much you \"love\" them

      And I always have to remind myself that sometimes the problems that I have with him, could be avoided if I put forth more effort. Simple things like saying \"I’m sorry\" right away instead of defending myself. Simple things like, staying calm when he decides to watch TV instead of doing something he’s promised to do for months (or even years…. he laid tile in my hall way and has yet to grout it)

    • #20441

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      thanks Della. I’m trying to take it day by day….
      but the main reason for the post I just did was based on RTC’s question do souls mates exist? and I managed to stumble upon this yesterday and made me think of this thread again…
      As for soul mates, well I think the article really puts it into a good perspective about soul vibrations, soul families, groups, etc.. it was a very cool read

    • #20442

      Shannen
      Spectator

      To love unconditionally is a beautiful thing. The strongest love of all. This is the love I give and I have for my boyfriend. It’s is the most powerful and therefore the most destructive when betrayed or lost.

      Life is as such. We can never totally conprehend nor answer the meaning of life question. We try to justify our existence with religion. We try to prolong this existence with the afterlife. The meaning of life is to sustain life. Go forth and multiply. We’re not be using stone tools nor hunting to eat anymore, but we are still doing the same basic things. Perhaps a good statement would be ‘I exist from a long line over countless millenia of succession enduring change and finally technology, as my ancestors evolved and multipled until finally I came to be.’ In Frank Herbert’s Dune, a recurring theme was that only the conquerers survived to multiply. You exist. You are here. You are born from victory. Carry on the tradition. You should not suffer defeat. Especially not to yourself.

    • #20443

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      that was very awesome to read Shannen! Now I just have to apply those thoughts to daily living, but it’s hard in this crazy America we live in, but I’m getting there ever so slowly.

    • #20444

      Della–love your attitude, you are so right. So many of life’s arguments can be prevented or solved simply by us altering our actions. Sometimes that’s just really hard to do….

    • #20445

      manillascissor
      Keymaster

      opposite of love:

      yesterday, i opened my front door to see if my daughter was home yet. so i’m standing there for about 10 seconds when i lock eyes with this 20 year oldish guy walking by. now, i live here and he doesn’t. yet, as he walks past, he continues to attempt to stare me down. like we are two lions in the desert. we loose sight behind a tree, and then he basically breaks his neck to continue to stare me down while still walking away.

      long story, but in short, i wanted to beat this guy into a bloody pulp instantly. i’m not a hateful person, but i am territorial and jesus christ, if you’re \"not from ’round here\", be happy with a quick glance.

      weird post i know, but he really pissed me off, and neither one of us did anything?

    • #20446

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      ^ Wasn’t he romantic!?

      I bet he was walking like a constipated Puppet also, pity the tree roots didn’t send him trippin’ over. :twisted:

      My hometown’s all about ‘stare downs,’ either that or the ‘ol walking past and something’s murmurred under their breath. :roll:

    • #20447

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      opposite of love:

      yesterday, i opened my front door to see if my daughter was home yet. so i’m standing there for about 10 seconds when i lock eyes with this 20 year oldish guy walking by. now, i live here and he doesn’t. yet, as he walks past, he continues to attempt to stare me down. like we are two lions in the desert. we loose sight behind a tree, and then he basically breaks his neck to continue to stare me down while still walking away.

      long story, but in short, i wanted to beat this guy into a bloody pulp instantly. i’m not a hateful person, but i am territorial and jesus christ, if you’re "not from ’round here", be happy with a quick glance.

      weird post i know, but he really pissed me off, and neither one of us did anything?[/quote:37slxx4j]
      lol :lol:
      what? be happy with a quick glance? :lol:
      should have just kicked his ass :P

    • #20448

      Anonymous
      Spectator

      manilla and dazey guilty of thread derailment :shock:

      back on track
      judge for yourself
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

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