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Guys, I was away for a week, because I spend my time arranging the funeral of my mum, which was done on the 13th. I promised her like 5 years ago to do this for her. Hectic week, let me tell you. I like to call her my \"real\" mum, as my parents divorced when I was 13 years old. She, my real mum, was ill in her head since I was 3 years old, so I never had a mum somehow, and had to learn a few things myself the hard way. Long & sometimes tough story, but don’t pity me too much, I’m kinda very cool about it.
But it’s been a week like a rollercoaster ride, both emotionally and all that things that needed to be arranged in just a few days. I wrote a very personal piece about her, and the troubles (but also some good times) I had with her, to end the funeral with. Lot’s of people had to cry, it was… impressive, in a way. Weird. Got tons of compliments about the respectful way I arranged everything like music, flowers, coffin. Very special moment was a lady I arranged to do a long detailed speech halfway the ceremony, about her whole life, and afterwards most people wanted a copy of that speech. Kinda… uhmmm… cool. What other word suits this moment? I don’t know. But anyhow, now I feel both tired, sad, proud, relieved, stronger, like a new era begins in my life. Weird huh…
I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to write this online, but hey… we know each for quite a while, I hope you don’t mind. Maybe you want to share some stories here also. The story of my life is, I learned to talk about troubles & emotions, because it helps. It really does!
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Arthur
I’m also sorry to learn of this news. Very sad. If you want to talk about it, shoot me an email and I’ll talk to you about it. If you want.I recently lost my father last year to lifelong addiction to alcohol. So my sister and I had to do all his arrangements and split his belongings and all of that, as he had no will. These things usually come out of nowhere, but it sounds like you had a least a little time to plan for this?
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You take care of yourself, and if you ever need someone to shoot the shit with, get a hold of me.[/quote:2mdih7m6]
Thanks toad32r. You are very sweet! But I’m fine, really. I almost had no contact with my mum the last few years, as she was living in her own fantasy world, and I was not very proud going there. She lived her smelly life in a dirty house, the docs gave her medicines to keep her quiet and it was almost impossible to talk to her about normal subjects. She was less then a shadow of the lady she was before my birth, if I can believe the stories of my father, and the other family. But I was used to her situation for almost 38 years, though she had better periods also sometimes the first 5-10 years of her illness. Then at last my father decided to divorce her when I was 13 years old. The only thing is, during my whole life I realized I have some kinda handicap, having missed the motherlove. Urgh!These things usually come out of nowhere, but it sounds like you had a least a little time to plan for this?[/quote:2mdih7m6]
I see we got something in common manillascissor. I guess you have a sad story to tell also…But no, not really much time to plan for this. It was very sudden. She was found in her chair in the early Saturday night, the ambulance people figured out she died in the early Saturday morning. The neighbours found her after she didn’t answer a phonecall from my aunt. She asked them to check. I was called in about 45 minutes, but as I couldn’t do anything I only arranged some meetings for the next day, and made lots of phonecalls that same night to have her moved away etc. Very sad, but she died kinda piecefully, with her head on her arm on the table, about to take a cigarette. I couldn’t go there on the spot, as she lives about 200 kms from my city you know…
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Ah, i’m sorry to hear about this
I can’t say that i know what you’re going through, or what you’ve been through. The closest thing that’s going on in my life is my last remaining grandma (the other grandparents died when i was too young to remember) seems to be getting Alzheimer’s, or something. I think it’s harder on my dad though
Ah well… know that we’re here for you, and want you to feel better. Anything we can do for you… we’ll try our best
And listen to For Martha, maybe. It should help you through the mourning process, i guess.
Anyway, i’m sorry to hear this.
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So sad to know that !
On the other hand i’m pleased that you are ok, and that you have planed a funeral, that would be remembered in a good way by the people that was there. A beautiful atitude of you.[/quote:s9a1rwao]
Yeah thanks, I get a lot of positive phonecalls now, and some emails too. It was a beautiful thing to do, and it brings a lot of understanding in the family. Pretty cool. Thanks Pipoka!
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