So my job…

[amnesia]

Well, I was supposed to go to work today for 10 days straight and I called in sick. Like, truly, mentally unstable sick. It sucks. Last night, 4 hours before I was supposed to leave, I was in bed crying for hours. I’ve had depression for awhile now, but lately it’s been compiling and adding up to something completely out of my hands. The thought of leaving to go to work actually makes me physically ill.

I came so close to just quitting my job, but I got an email from HR that says I’m eligible for the Federal Medical and Family Act. I can get paid for up to 12 weeks without losing my job. I’m very thankful for this. Either that, or it was gonna be disability through my insurance.

Not sure why I’m posting this, maybe I need some more support. Anyone else ever have this kind of trouble with their jobs?

Mentally weak, forever a freak

[Superlordspamulon]

That sucks man, but like you said at least you can get the benefits an such.

I guess the thing here is really, why are you depressed? Can you root the problem, because then you can make steps to fix it. If, however, it’s medical (i.e imbalance, w/e) then I really wish all the best for you – I seriously hope it does work out.

[last_rose_of_summer]

maybe you need to change to a different med or dosage. there is an actual recognized thing doctors call the \"poop-out effect\" when an antidepressant works for you at first but then it stops working. i’ve had to switch meds a few times because of it.

[url:1nsect4y]http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antidepressants/AN01312[/url:1nsect4y]

[manillascissor]

Maybe that is it rose, who knows, I definitely feel as though I’m taking absolutely nothing recently. And it’s a chemical inbalance combined with the fact that I’m divorcing my wife. So the life situation/stress isn’t helping the already existent root problem.

I’ve been to counseling before with little to no success. It just seems I’m \"down’.

[blueczarina]

i’m sorry to hear this. you know you always have my best wishes.

hopefully you can get whatever help you need to get back on track. maybe you do just need a different dosage or perhaps some alternative medications. i’m sure all of the extra stress isn’t helping you any though. i hope you can get this taken care of so you can get yourself back to a good place emotionally and mentally.

[last_rose_of_summer]

i think you should go see your doctor. they will probably want you to try something different. it may be something simple to fix. i know, i never want to go to the doctor… but i think you will feel a lot better afterwards if you go. just tell them how you have been feeling, they will help you.

[Danni]

That sucks.

Last week I was home on wednesday. I couldn’t go to work. My balance was off. Had too many beers and a couple ‘a Martini’s on tuesday after work with a good friend of mine. Still drunk at 05:50 am. \"What the f*** am I doing?\"

I hope it turns out good for ya Manilla.

Now: GO listen to some \"Geek USA\"! Always cheers you up.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

good that you can take some time off. these things need time. feel better.

[Anonymous]

Don’t forget that you’re also artistic, this alone can be hard-going and the world rarely believes in it…

It’s good that you’re able to talk about it and realise you’re run down, any decent person would be with all this crap to deal with.

Cheesey as it sounds, you need to ‘take stock’ and focus on some plusses to your current life, having some time off work’s no biggie and the world will keep spinning.

Imagine being Will’s family, he was a very dear friend of mine (put things in perspective a little):
http://www.journal-times.com/local/local_story_183171931.html

I’ve been on and off of medication since the age of 19, so life still goes on.

We luv ya to death (and beyond), so don’t you forget that now, ya hear?

Hope this didn’t sound too lecture-ey and so on, think of it as tried & tested advice from an old Pro.

Hang in there Sunshine, time will fix everything, you’re not alone under the dark cloud.

[Anonymous]

You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. You need to be able to take care of those children of yours and to do that right you need to have a stable and healthy mind. You know how I feel about meds, but if you need them, then you have to do what is right for you. I want you to be happy and feeling life again and not sadness and depression. You are going through a lot of changes in your life/mind right now. Know that we are all here for you. You will get through this-you know you can talk to me at any time too. But knowing and being aware of this going on with you and taking the steps necessary to take care of yourself first is the right choice. You will get better!
Thank God for the FMLA act!
hugs to you sweetie

[Tion]

i dont know nothing about depression and how to deal with it. all i can say is that you should use your time now sensible. go see the doctor, speak with a good friend.
you have my best wishes.
and keep us informed, please.

[last_rose_of_summer]

Dazey, that’s terrible about your friend Will. I can’t imagine how the kids must have felt

[amnesia]

A depression is the worst disease for a human possible i think.I had a depression few years back, and it was a hard time for me, but im all good now.You should go and see a doctor or a psychologist, i went to a psychologist for a while, and it did help in the end,maybe you need somone to help you with youre problems.Get better Derek! Hugs.

[Pipoka]

Derek, I can’t add much to what have been said.
You’re im my thoughts. Do whatever is possible for you to get out of that state of mind. I’ve been there too, and it’s no good.

[manillascissor]

Thanks for the support everyone. Things are looking \"okay\" in my immediate future. Some of you have also given me support behind the scenes and it’s been very much appreciated. I’m so glad to have such awesome freaks for friends.

[Marcella]

Oh, I am here too late, apparently, for everything I could’ve said has already been said. I still hope everything gets better. I’m sure you’ll be able to get out of this.

[manillascissor]

Things are finally turning for the better. Been out of work for two months, which you would *think* was a blast, but it wasn’t. It involved a lot of paperwork and doctor visits and swallowing of pills, etc.

Anyway, I’m on protected leave from my job until the end of this year and my insurance pays me a reasonable amount (I can live off it) in the meantime.

Just wanted to update to those that care and know that you’re in my thoughts just as I may be in yours. Times are tough, but something tells me it will always be this way. I’m trying to accept it and be happy with what I have, which is a lot.

I’ll get a soapbox for Thanksgiving.

[Tion]

good to hear that, manillascissor.

[amnesia]

Yeah, good to hear.Thanks for the update Derek.

Is Ralphie still away by the way ?

[manillascissor]

Yeah, good to hear.Thanks for the update Derek.

Is Ralphie still away by the way ? [/quote:367ljpo9]

Yeah, Ralphie is still gone.

[blueczarina]

i’m glad things are starting to turn around and i hope things keep with that trend.

[some pumpkins]

im happy for you derek

[manillascissor]

im happy for you derek[/quote:2qggw8gp]

ty brandon. i was scoping out ayoe’s collection yesterday, and was perusing yours today. you have a lot of nice stuff.

[manillascissor]

i’m glad things are starting to turn around and i hope things keep with that trend. [/quote:rwxw5yyl]

me too blue. and THANKS!

[some pumpkins]

im happy for you derek[/quote:3a3tszyw]

ty brandon. i was scoping out ayoe’s collection yesterday, and was perusing yours today. you have a lot of nice stuff. [/quote:3a3tszyw]

thanks. i’ve slowed down lately. (trying to save up some money) and i really jealous of / admire ayoe’s cassette collection. i was peeping that shit last week. and yours…what can i say about yours? last time i looked at yours, you were at 599. now 714! fuck man!

[manillascissor]

yeah, i gotta slow down here too towards christmas so i can buy the kiddies some good’ns. a lot of the reason my collection kinda spiked is cause i’ve had all this time off to go through it all! it’s been fun!

and yeah, i’m jealous of a lot of ayoe’s stuff. i want her japanese machina promo tape the most.

[Arthur]

I’ll get a soapbox for Thanksgiving. [/quote:1gek5rek]

And good to hear the rest too, Derek. Rock on!

[amnesia]

thanks. i’ve slowed down lately. (trying to save up some money) and i really jealous of / admire ayoe’s cassette collection. i was peeping that shit last week. and yours…what can i say about yours? last time i looked at yours, you were at 599. now 714! fuck man![/quote:1rpz8txl]

Funny part of this, i admire youres and dereks cassette collection, i think you 2 guys have the best cassette collection here.I still have long way to get close to you guys, especially Dereks cassette collection.

[amnesia]

Yeah, Ralphie is still gone. [/quote:why6x5kn]

That is so sad, makes me unhappy.

Still i hope he will make it back.

[some pumpkins]

thanks. i’ve slowed down lately. (trying to save up some money) and i really jealous of / admire ayoe’s cassette collection. i was peeping that shit last week. and yours…what can i say about yours? last time i looked at yours, you were at 599. now 714! fuck man![/quote:13ewxf96]

Funny part of this, i admire youres and dereks cassette collection, i think you 2 guys have the best cassette collection here.I still have long way to get close to you guys, especially Dereks cassette collection.[/quote:13ewxf96]

thanks ayoe, but i only have 8 cassetts on my ownerlist. the coolest ones i have are the ones i got from the chick who used to work at virgin, and the ones i got off of ebay france from earlier this year. once i scan those in, then i’ll be deserving of the compliment.

[amnesia]

thanks. i’ve slowed down lately. (trying to save up some money) and i really jealous of / admire ayoe’s cassette collection. i was peeping that shit last week. and yours…what can i say about yours? last time i looked at yours, you were at 599. now 714! fuck man![/quote:26y6pcv8]

Funny part of this, i admire youres and dereks cassette collection, i think you 2 guys have the best cassette collection here.I still have long way to get close to you guys, especially Dereks cassette collection.[/quote:26y6pcv8]

thanks ayoe, but i only have 8 cassetts on my ownerlist. the coolest ones i have are the ones i got from the chick who used to work at virgin, and the ones i got off of ebay france from earlier this year. once i scan those in, then i’ll be deserving of the compliment.[/quote:26y6pcv8]

Yep, i was thinking about those Virgin tapes, those are very awesome, also the mcis set you have is nice.
You own this as well, which i want badly.

http://www.spfreaks.com/?page=COLLDETAILS&item=557

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