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i just thought break it out right after they say super nice stuff about me. it would really shake things up. but it would be fucked up, and i don’t think the funeral people would think it was funny either.
but when i went to the funeral for the lady who lived accross the street from me, it was all pink with tons of flowers, it was kinda nice, but kinda looked like a brothel, but i didn’t say so. but if she (the lady who died) had seen it, she would hve died again, after yelling at her kids. she was a really neat lady, but about a year ago she got really bad wit the althzimers, we have lived accross from her for 7 years, and she was forgetting my name, and we visited her every day for 7 years. so you know it was getting bad.
and they sang a really dumb hymn at her funeral, she would have been mad at that too, that is why i am making all the plans now. plus i think i will make it mandatory that everyone wear black, and have a list, like at a club, and if you’re not on the list you can’t come. that would be funny too, have bouncers at your funeral. hehe
not to go into a bunch right now, but every day i am fighting against the urge to take my own life, every day i walk that tightrope. it feels like an edge that i can’t step away from. i gave up on my medicine a long time ago. i have good days, but this past week they have been mostly bad. but i have to drag my ass out of bed every morning to get my son ready for school, and every day i go on for him. him and sp, and really all of you guys keep me going.
so now that i am crying i will stop, take a breath and a drink of pop and go on. every day is just one small moment at a time.
i am gonna have all sp at my funeral, and it will all end with porcelina. i think it is perfect, i thought about the everlasting gaze, but that might be too fucked up. \"you know i’m not dead\". i think it is funny, but i don’t think other people would.
but i thought porcelina would be a great last song at my funeral.
as far as you take me, that’s where i believe
the realm of soft delusions, floating on the leaves
on a distant shoreline, she waves her arms to me
as all the thought police, are closing in for sleep
the dilly dally, of my bright lit stay
the steam of my misfortunes
has given me the power to be afraid
and in my mind i’m everyone
and in my mind
without a care in this whole world
without a care in this life
it’s what you take that makes it right
porcelina of the oceans blue
in the slipstream, of thoughtless thoughts
the light of all that’s good, the light of all that’s true
to the fringes gladly, i walk unadorned
with gods and their creations
with filth and disease
porcelina, she waits for me there
with seashell hissing lullabyes
and whispers fathomed deep inside my own
hidden thoughts and alibis
my secret thoughts come alive
without a care in this whole world
without a care in this life
it’s what you take that makes it right
and in my mind i’m everyone
in my mind i’m everyone of you
you make it right
it’s all allright
you make it right
porcelina of the oceans blueI Am One [4]
Siva [9]
Rhinoceros [7]
Bury Me [5]
Crush [5] +
Suffer [5] –
Snail [7]
Tristessa [4]
Window Paine [4]wel i decided to go to sleep and some fucker outbid me. so no poster for me, i put in a bid of 15.59, and would have gone higher, but i fell alseep. so i went for damn 16 dollars. boooooooo
well only a few hours left on it, i am the high bidder, and i am crossing my fingers that i don’t get out bid at the last.
i will take a pic of myself when i get it, and post it.
cause the skirt does not matter, only beautiful billy, who btw is not a goat.
so quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we try to ignore that, plus i don’t think it is tafata, i thnik it is more like a leather like material.
pmm posted in the thread over there about the new message board, here is the link
yay, it has been a while since he did that, if you go and look at his friends list, wow, it is long, i saw you on there rosie posey, and i seen me.
mmm yes, if it was billy, gotta protect him
spaeking of billy, did you see his blog last night? and he added everyone that requested to his friends list
:):)[/quote:21rlocep]holy shit i didn’t even notice that, he is now on my friends list and he is first. oh, that is so coo.
yeah, that is not such a good look for him. he needs to keep it the original color. he looks better that way.
maybe, i don’t know. i always liked him, but he hasn’t done much of anything since the breakup. except for gain some weight.
you know what i get reminded of when we say beers, m deeds, that poem that he reads at the begining in his card. and the one guy murph how he says beers. silly i know.
but yes under the slide would be a goo place not to have watered down beers.
